Your heart races. Your body temperature rises. Your hands may shake. Your stomach may churn.
Your thoughts start spiraling to the worst could that happen, and suddenly you feel so unequipped—like everything’s going to fall apart, and you won’t be able to handle it.
It can feel so powerless when anxiety takes over, almost like your brain and body are being hijacked, and there’s little you can do to feel safe or in control.
Except that’s not actually true. Though anxiety can have both physical and mental symptoms, and we can’t just will it away, there are things we can do to calm ourselves.
I know because, like most of us, I’ve been there many times before, and I’ve coped both poorly and well.
I’ve panicked about panicking, believed every anxious thought, judged myself as weak, and tried to numb my feelings with alcohol—these are things I’ve done more often than I care to admit.
I’ve also breathed deeply, observed my thoughts, treated myself with compassion, and chosen to embrace my feelings—more and more often as I’ve gotten older.
Since I know we have a lot more power than we think when it comes to managing anxiety, I recently asked this question on the Tiny Buddha Facebook page:
What’s one thing you try to remember when you feel anxious?
More than 1,000 people responded, which I appreciated both because their thoughts were comforting and also because this reminded me just how common anxiety is. It’s natural. It’s human. But we don’t have to let it control us.
Next time you’re feeling anxious, remember what these Tiny Buddha community members shared:
1. This will pass, and more quickly if you don’t resist it.
It’s a wave I must let hit me and ride until it passes. Fighting it prolongs it and turns it into a riptide. ~Lori Craven
If you just let the current carry you to where it will for a little while, the river will eventually spit you out. Just go with it and it’s going to be okay. ~Renee Breuer
2. You can and will get through this—and this can make you stronger.
I verbally acknowledge and remind my inner child that it’s okay, and “Adult Doug” will take care of it. That’s where the anxiety arises from. I know as an adult that my success rate of surviving any crises I’ve faced is 100%. My little inner “Doug” gets scared and feels anxious, afraid, and insecure, so I just tell him that I have it in control. ~Doug Marcum
I can handle whatever happens. I always have, one way or another. If things don’t work out the way I expect then that’s okay too. The anxiety will pass and I will be stronger afterward. ~Suzy Wedley
3. You are safe.
I breathe and repeat to myself: “I’m safe. I’m okay. I can take care of myself. I am powerful. I am significant.” Repeating it helps me refocus. ~Ida Zakin
The situation isn’t life or death. I’ll live to see another day despite the outcome. ~Claire Denney
My mantra: “It’s just adrenaline. It can’t hurt you. It will pass.” ~Chuck Striler
4. Your body is trying to protect you.
I’m not a dying zebra! I watched something that said stress is a natural part of our fight or flight response, which is helpful if you’re on the savanna running from a hungry lion. ~Jenn Miles
Anxiety is my body’s way of trying to protect me. My body has good intentions. It’s just a little misguided. I’m grateful for my body’s protection. ~Jenny Britt
5. The past and future cannot hurt you in the present.
I try to think about what is causing me anxiety, and it is typically a thought or thoughts about the past or future. I remind myself that I am okay in this moment, and all we ever have is this moment. It helps me. ~Angela Regan-Storvick
6. Thoughts can only hurt you if you give them power.
Since mine stems from thoughts that then spiral, I remind myself that thoughts are just that. They do not have to have meaning attached to them if I do not let them. Let them come in and out and give them no power, no meaning. Do not fuel them but let them come and go. They do not have to be reality, and most times they are not a reflection of reality or my true self, just plain old thoughts, and I do not have to react to every single one. ~April Rutledge
7. Worrying will not change the outcome.
I remind myself that my worrying will not change the outcome—never has and never will. Then I focus on what I’m grateful for, things that are beautiful and wonderful in my life right now. And lastly I repeat this: “I let go and I trust that I am being taken care of.” ~Joie Kreze
8. What’s worrying you is temporary.
I try to remind myself that whatever is causing my anxiety is temporary and if I’m patient, it will be resolved. ~Jess Swanson
I try very hard to remember that for most situations, they will pass whether I get all stressed out or not. ~Karen Jane Lehman
9. You have everything you need.
I try to remind myself that I have what I need: air, water, food, clothing, shelter. Then I remind myself to keep things in perspective and that I can choose how I am. ~Lorna Lewis
10. You’re stronger than you think.
I get anxiety over little things and I have to remind myself of how much I have overcome. If I can get through two brain surgeries, four different types of radiation treatment, Thyroidectomy for Thyroid Cancer, and a left neck dissection, I can get through the little stuff. Sometimes you just have to push through the discomfort of the situation and see it will be fine. ~Sara Ruggiero
11. There’s a lot going right.
I concentrate on what positive is going on right now this minute. I am safe, I am not hungry, I have a good job, a husband that loves me, my family is safe and healthy. I keep going until I feel the tension fading. Then slowly but surely I can clear my head enough to take on what lies ahead of me. ~Birgit Gerwig
Things could be worse. I have my health. I try to count my blessings. ~Colleen Tayler
12. You are loved and supported.
I think of all the people who love me. I picture their faces and I imagine myself surrounded by a bubble of love, and as I’m breathing deeply I’m breathing that love in and out. ~Conni Wrightsman
13. Things often aren’t as bad as they seem.
Four by four, how will I feel about this? Will it still seem huge and overwhelming looking back in four days, four weeks, four months, four years? It helps me to put things in perspective . ~Jacqui Learmonth
I ask myself, “Am I, or is someone I love in danger right now, in this moment?” 99.9% of the time, the answer is no, so I do some breathing and relaxation exercises to calm my mind and deal with the situation from a healthier perspective. ~Celeste Rothstein
I ask myself: What are the most important things in my life, and then focus on that. What I am stressing about usually isn’t one of the important things. ~Nicole Neubauer
14. You can calm yourself by focusing on your breath.
Give your brain a simple task. Sit and breathe. Stare at a wall. Put yourself in time out and inhale slowly. You are not wasting your time. Thoughts will float into your mind. Let them keep floating. Re-align your spine as you sit. And breathe. Take ten minutes if you can. If you can’t, even a minute is better than nothing. ~Dabe Charon
Inhale for four counts, hold for seven counts, exhale for eight counts. ~Lisa Martinez
Breathe. If that doesn’t work I run. It forces me to regulate my breathing. This will calm my body down forcing my mind to calm down as well. ~Carolyn Stennard
15. Trust can sometimes be the antidote to anxiety.
Trust and anxiety are mutually exclusive so focus on trust, whatever you can trust at the moment, and anxiety moves out. ~Alexia Bogdis
16. It helps to focus on what you can control.
“One step at a time.” I tend to become anxious because I worry and overthink things that I can’t control and may or may not happen in the future. So I started to think this in my head whenever I notice the feeling creeping up. To take action one step at a time on something that I can control and let the rest run its course. ~Adelia Benalius
17. You don’t need to have everything figured out right now.
Sometimes it’s not enough to take it day by day. Sometimes, it’s hour by hour, or even minute by minute. And if I breathe and stay calm, I can make better decisions to effect positive change with the situation with which I’m dealing. ~Susan Stephenitch
18. Getting it out can help you let it go.
Write it down, get it off your chest, relax, make a plan of attack. Do something instead of worrying. Don’t let it take away today’s peace. Nothing stays the same! ~Lisa Marie Wilson
19. You deserve your own love and compassion.
Anxiety can often come from a place of judgment of the self. Stop, breathe, and surrender to self-compassion. ~Christine Strauss
20. You are not alone.
Know you’re not alone. Others are struggling with something as well. We’re all in this together! ~Melanie Rn
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha and the author of Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions, Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself, Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges, and Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal. She’s also co-founder of the popular online course Recreate Your Life Story: Change the Script and Be the Hero (recreateyourlifestory.com).
After struggling with depression, bulimia, and self-loathing for over a decade, she launched tinybuddha.com as a community blog, where anyone could share their experiences, lessons, and insights. She hoped to recycle her former pain into something useful to others, and to empower others to do the same.
Lori sometimes worries that she’s too sensitive, too intense, and too caught up in her head, and not as outgoing, laid back, or connected as she ‘should’ be. She also worries about missing out, making the ‘wrong’ decisions, and somehow ‘messing up’ her relationships. But she worries a lot less than she used to and no longer feels a need to escape from her busy brain.
This journal encompasses every tool and practice that has helped her live more mindfully, with less angst and insecurity. She hopes these prompts and exercises will help you as much as they’ve helped her.